The Colbert Report/Episode/506
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro The Rise & Fall Of The Wing-Based Economy * as much fun as we're having right now, we know someday we will die ** the economy is really depressing people * in April, Americans will be paying taxes in kidneys * liberals want millions for Family Planning * CSPAN- government plant to discourage sex ** use as directed * 80,000 jobs lost ** only secure career: telling people they've lost their job * price of chicken wings is up ** there may not be enough for Super Bowl Sunday * watchin gthe Super Bowl without a plate * making love without a plate of chicken wings * Countdown: The Wing-Ageddon ** Stephen & Jom Lehrer * an explanatory chart * snack food conspiracy ** Pillsbury Doughboy's lack of genitalia (he reproduces through tummy-poking) * repercussions to many industries: ** bleu cheese miners ** ___ farmers ** Hidden Ranchers ** Hooter's waitresses *** can't afford clothes as it is * a blow to America's self-esteem ** hold up our red-dye-#5-stained fingers * Obama must appoint a Wing Czar Better Know A Beatle * Friday, January 30, 2009 is the anniversary of The Beatles' rooftop concert atop the Apple records building * if Google Earth was available back then, you could have seen the egos from space * Better Know A Beatle ** Paul McCartney, the Fightin' Walrus * grew up in Liverpool ** mining despair * Quarrymen ** which became the Beatles * Paul was the cute one * John was the smart one * George was the senstitive one * Ringo was the luckiest man in the world * Wings greatest hit: "Stop Requesting Strawberry Fields, That Was John's" * Paul has never seen The Colbert Report * Stephen had never heard his music * Paul's favorite Beatle was Ringo * George Martin wasn't a Beatle * there is a small chance that Stephen was the Fifth Beatle * new album "Electric Arguments" contains 13 songs ** took too long to write each song (one day) * could belt out a rock scream * he calls himself ** witty, attractive, musical * he doesn't eat meat * Dalai Lama might eat Paul McCartney ** in an emergency, he might * the tenderest cut of the McCartney * Stephen and "Ebony & Ivory" with him * Paul wore a WristStrong Bracelet * Stephen ended the interview with a hearty "Ohbla-dee Ohbal-done" * Sir Paul made Stephen a knight Interview * Denis Dutton * appreciation of art is a product of evolution; it must be true because monkeys could paint most of that stuff * "The Art Instinct: Beauty, Pleasure And Human Evolution" * evolution is a fraud ** undermine our belief in an all-knowing, all-loving God * how does art help us survive in Darwinian * imaginative abilities * many cavemen were reading "Emma" ** using their imaginations to tell stories ** invent fictions * Stephen accused him of inventing a complicated history * cave paintings are wildly sophisticated stick figures ** because they're French, wearing woolly mammoth beret * he talked in metaphors * throws out conceptual arts ** prefers "calendar" art * art is a tool for profligating ** everyone is doing art to get laid * humor, charm, wit * there is a chance that Stephen is art * his wife instructed him not to flatter Stephen Epilogue * Dr. Colbert has one last thought: ** some say the Holocaust didn't happen, if you disagree, call: 1-877-SEAN-930 * good night! Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments